I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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