Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
