don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
