We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
