kristin has been a bad kristin
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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