Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
