I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
