She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
