end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
There r osticjed everywhere
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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