I molested 6 butterflies tonight
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
