I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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