we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
