So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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