Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
