I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
