I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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