they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
