It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
