Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Randomize
