I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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