I'm going to jail i love you
This is not my ceiling
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
