community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
