PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
