you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
