at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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