why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
