You're so nebulous sometimes
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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