I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
