just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
This baby is an asshole
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
