Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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