im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize