this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I am available for nakedness
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
