So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I feel great
I just peed on a car
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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