if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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