Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
we have pet lesbian snakes
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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