Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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