Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
