Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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