She went from zero to smokin in five shots
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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