How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
