hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
