What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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