"it" just moved
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
