True but thats because hes a fetus.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
