It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
