I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
