He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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