i wish my penis had a tongue
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
