im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
