I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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