he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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